New chapter

Good day people!

I'm blogging straight from the office. It's a new place for me..i'm officially back to the practising world..hehehe...seronok!

New place, new environment, new collegues...i hope evrything will go well for me. Wish not to think so much of the past experience..as i begin this new journey of my life.

As for the maid, i've got a new one...much better from the previous one and more responsible in doing the work especially in handling faris. Alhamdulillah...masalah sikit sebyk dh diselesaikn~ Now, wat i need to do is to focus on my career..hmm...mama akan berusaha utk faris! Gambatte!!

Talking bout faris, he just recovered from the flu...musim la skang ni..jupe dgn org yg kene flu sekejap je dh menjangkit. Nasib baik faris senang makan ubat...kalo tak mungkin lagi lama nak sembuh. I think apart from the flu, faris nak tumbuh gigi lagi rasenye...dgn ailio drooling non stop...gusi mcm bengkak...hmm...positif nk tumbuh gigi!

Right guys...gotta go now and start doing work..later,k!

Corporate language

I came across an email about corporate language this morning. I guess it's good enough for me to post it here for your reading purposes. Enjoy! (so long it does not happened to you...huhhhhuu)

The Corporate language!!

"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"


"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"


"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"

"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"


"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."


"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"


"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"


"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"


"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"



"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."


"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"


"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"


"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"

She's an evil, he's a devil

The title itself seems to show that i was having an argument with somebody. The truth is...no. I hope i did...i was prepared for the worst actually. All these while i was keeping to myself...the impossible workload, the stupid instruction...i swallowed it all for the sake of my family.

Last week, i reached my boiling point...i felt like i was not appreciated for the good work done. I called it a quit. There were so many things that made me quit. I was only a subordinate...no one to turn to except her. All those top level wont care less about someone like me, they managed people at management level only. Sadly, no one care to hear my voice not even HR. This is just the gist of the whole story. The rest, let it be untold..

The truth is..if you're working at big corporation you will only get the recognition not for the work done but for your skill in sucking up.

Now, i'm trying to pick up the pieces and move on with life. I believe in karma..what goes around comes around. Im gonna miss all my dear friends there. You guys are amazing and it's a bless to meet good people like u guys. Thanx for all the support and for lending me a shoulder to cry on..we shall meet again...i will never forget u guys.

For the time being i just want to relax my mind...maybe now i have enough time to update this blog...seems like ages i haven't updated anything...hmm~now is the time.

Hati yang gundah gulana

Lately perasaan aku berbelah bahagi.. dgn kepulangan maid aku 15hb mac ni, aku tatau mane nak letak faris. so dramatic perasaan ni sampai aku terasa mcm nak berhenti kerja je jaga faris kat rumah..owh, i know i am being over dramatic in overcoming this issue. I guess the pressure i put on myself causing me not to think properly..I'm being more emotional than i should be...walhal org jaga anak kat nursery tu sume nye ok je...aku jek lebey2~

Apart from that, faris showed no interest at all on the milk..like completely relying on the foodz (yg x seberape tu) only.Hmm..we even tried feeding him with different flavour...yet still failed. In the end, aku yg penat berfikir..Ahh~

Minggu lepas aku juga kehilangan 3pasang kasut yang sangat aku sukai. Pencopet kasut yg keji tu dah merembat kasut snowfly (lame tau tunggu sale baru dpt beli), scholl ngan sport shoes aku yg blom pon aku sempat pakai.Huuhh~tapi bak kate papa..percaya pada takdir...dah bukan rezeki kita...redha aje...sob,sob! Salah aku juga sebab tak simpan elok2...so skang belajar drp kesilapan.

Oleh kerana these few weeks kami asik berjalan tak duduk rumah, papa dah tunjuk boikot nak duduk rumah minggu ni...takmo jalan2 lagi. Okla, to be fair to him..aku setuju...kesian jugak tgk dia bawak kami ke sana sini...aku tau dia penat..hmm~faktor umur kot..hahaha!

Oh ye, aku kate aku hilang kasut tp last week yang aku beli adalah..hehe...handbag yang tade kene mengene dgn kehilangan kasut..huhuu~

Sebab rase bersalah, aku ckp dgn papa aku nak buat undertaking...not to buy anymore handbag this year...and this handbag shall be the final bag for this year...penting ayat this year tuu....hahaha!

Signed and sealed,
Mrs. Marine

Sesetengah nikmat itu hanya datang sekali, tetapi bersyukur kena selalu.

Today, a friend forwarded an email to me. Sekali pandang macam tak menarik. It took me some time to open the email and read it.

After reading through the 1st and 2nd paragraph..i thought, oh..what the heck baca jelaa..alang2. Then i became interested to read further after the 4th paragraph. I was so focused and absorbed into the story that i didn't realized my boss came to my cubicle. But then again, it was too late...my eyes filled with tears as i was looking to her face. Huhuu~awkward situation,k!(maluu~fortunately she did'nt asked tau)

Yes, this is a story to be read by all mothers out there! I dunno whether this is fictional or not but one thing for sure is that it's a good story and meant to be shared with others so that we learn to be thankful for what we have now...

*****************************************************************************

Ada sepasang suami isteri yang hidup bahagia. Tidak ada kurangnya bagi pasangan yang dilimpahi dengan kemewahan ini kecuali satu, mereka tidak punya anak walaupun telah lama berumah tangga. Sering mereka bercerita tentang betapa indahnya hidup sekiranya punya seorang anak penyejuk mata. Rasa ini bergolak hebat apabila melihat kepada jiran sekeliling yang sentiasa riuh rendah dengan bunyi hilai ketawa anak-anak, kadang-kadang tangisan nyaring.

Apa yang menarik tentang pasangan Mr. & Mrs. Perfect ini:

Susun atur dalaman rumah mereka yang rapi, kekemasan sentiasa pada tahap maksimum dan semua benda mesti berjalan seperti yang dirancang dan dijadualkan. Rutin hidup mereka semuanya berjalan seperti dalam catatan diari dalam kerapian tahap tinggi. Nota semakan kerja rumah tergantung pada peti ais, pada white board pula senarai semakan keberkesanan, perancangan pula dalam buku management tersendiri. Dengan tekun semua ini diulang-ulang saban hari, minggu dan tahun.

Pada satu hari yang indah, si isteri bergegas memberitahu jiran tetangga berita gembira yang dikongsi bersama dengan sambutan syukur hampir seluruh kawasan kejiranan berhampiran. Menurut doktor, dia bakal menimang cahaya mata. Kegembiraan jelas terpancar pada pasangan

ini, ucapan tahniah datang mencurah-curah.

Begitu pantas masa berlalu. Akhirnya sampailah saat yang mendebarkan, anak yang ditunggu dilahirkan dengan selamat. Bayi lelaki comel ini benar-benar memberi sinar pelengkap kasih sayang di dalam rumah itu.

Tiga tahun berlalu, anak lelaki ini membesar dengan sihat dan subur, sesubur perhatian dan belaian daripada ayah dan ibu. Namun berlaku sesuatu yang tidak diduga oleh ibunya selama ini. Anak lelaki ini mempunyai perangai yang seratus peratus berbeza dengan sikap ibunya. Kalau ibunya sangat kemas, anak lelaki ini akan mengeromot segalanya. Rumah yang selama ini kemas teratur sering kali bertukar wajah menjadi seperti lepas perang, kena penangan anak ini. Keadaan tidak terkawal, anak ini mungkin telah dimanjakan berlebihan.

Si ibu merintih derita. Apa yang berlaku ini bertentangan sama sekali dengan kanun dirinya. Semua mesti sempurna! Sampai pada tahap ini si ibu selalu terlanjur cakap bahawa mempunyai anak sebenarnya satu kesilapan. Anak bukan penyejuk mata sebaliknya peragut ketenangan.

Bagi mendidik si anak, si ibu terpaksa menggunakan sedikit kekerasan, cubit, rotan dan meminta dia berikrar untuk tidak mengulanginya kembali.

"Mama, abang minta maaf ... Abang tak akan ulang lagi."Itulah ungkapan yang diajar setiap kali kesalahan dibuat.

Satu lagi tabiat yang pelik bagi anak ini ialah dia akan mengoyak kertas yang dijumpainya dan dibiarkan bersepah merata-rata. Cubitan dan kemarahan tidak berjaya mengubah tingkah lakunya, dia masih dengan tabiat menyepah-nyepah, kemudian rumah jadi bingit dengan leteran dan bahang kemarahan ibu. Begitulah yang sering berlaku.

Pada suatu hari si ibu bergegas mengemaskan rumah kerana kawan lamanya bakal datang melawat. Dia ke dapur memasak hidangan kepada tetamu yang bakal datang.

Bila dia membawa makanan untuk dihidangkan, alangkah terkejutnya apabila dia melihat ruang tamu bersepah, sofa tunggang langgang dan koyakan kertas bertabur di mana-mana.

"Abang ... mari sini!!" Jerit si ibu memanggil anaknya lebih kuat daripada biasa. Kemarahannya mencecah siling kesabaran dan membakar rentung ladang hemahnya.

Si anak ketakutan lalu lari meluru ke arah pintu. Si ibu mengejar dari belakang. Nafasnya tertahan-tahan menahan marah.. Kaki anakmelangkah keluar dari rumahdengan larian deras. Sesaat dia telah berada di hadapan pagar.

Tiba-tiba terdengar satu bunyi hentaman keras. Larian ibu terhenti. Wajah terasa basah terpercik sesuatu. Dia terpaku ... Alangkah terkejutnya apabila melihat anaknya menggelupur kesakitan berhampiran longkang besar di tepi rumahnya. Basah di muka tadi rupanya adalah darah anaknya.

Dia tidak mempedulikan lagi pada kereta yang melanggar, dia meluru mendapatkan anak dan merangkulnya. Darah merah ada di mana-mana, dada anak berombak-ombak, tubuh kekejangan, terdengar bunyi rengekan menahan sembilu kesakitan yang amat. Tanpa berlengah dia terus memandu keretanya, anak diletakkan ke atas ribanya, tubuhnya kini dibasahi darah merah segar anaknya, dia terus memecut laju ke hospital.

"Ya Allah ... tolonglah selamatkan anakku ini." Doanya dalam raungan kuat sambil memandu laju. Hon dibunyikan bertalu-talu minta laluan daripada pemandu lain.

"Ya Allah ... aku tahu aku gagal menjadi seorang ibu yang baik tetapi aku memohon sekali ini ... Ya Allah selamatkanlah anakku ini."


Air matanya bercucuran dengan deras menitis, tumpah dan bergaul dengan darah merah anaknya. Perjalanan terasa begitu jauh dalam keadaan begini. Nafas anak tercungap-cungap. Dari mulut, hidung juga telinga darah terus mengalir begitu deras. Si anak bergelut dengan
kesakitan, dada berombak kuat, setiap kali dia membuka mulutnya darah bercucuran keluar.

Anak seperti ingin menuturkan sesuatu, ibu menangis semahunya.

"Mama maafkan abang ..." Ungkapannya sukar ... tersekat-sekat kerana kesakitan itu.


"... Abang janji tak akan buat lagi."


Itulah ucapan yang selalu dituturkan apabila ibunya marah. Ibu memegang mulut anak, hatinya menangis. Bukan ini yang ibu mahu dengar.

Sebaik sampai di hospital, anak dikejarkan ke bahagian kecemasan. Ibu menunggu di luar, dia membuat panggilan kepada suami dan mengurus segala prosedur yang patut. Dengan baju dipenuhi darah tanpa merasa malu pada orang sekeliling yang melihatnya, dia menangis sekuat hati, rasa sesal mengasak kuat segenap ruang hatinya.

"Ya Allah berilah aku peluang kedua untuk menjadi seorang ibu yang baik, aku sedar akan kesalahanku ..."

"Ya Allah selamatkanlah anakku hari ini ..."

Doa tidak pernah putus dari bibirnya dengan permohonan setulus-tulusnya kepada tuhan.

Setelah lama menunggu, tiba-tiba doktor keluar. Bebola matanya merenung penuh pengharapan pada doktor.

"Puan, maafkan ... Kami telah cuba melakukan yang terbaik." Patah bicara doktor satu-satu menyusun kalimah.

"Anak puan ... Telah meninggal dunia."

Hanya itu yang mampu dituturkan, walaupun selalu tetapi tetap sukar untuk menjelaskannya kepada ibu ini.

Dunia terasa seperti pasir jerlus yang menyedut dengan deras ke dalam, kepingan langit sekeping-sekeping menghempas ubun-ubun kepalanya. Alangkah sakitnya hakikat ini. Dalam tangisan berderai, dia meluru dan merangkul sekujur tubuh anaknya dengan mata tertutup rapat, kesakitan telah tiada bersama nafasnya yang berangkat pergi buat selama-lamanya.

"Anak ... Kamu tidak mendapat apa yang sepatutnya ibu berikan di sepanjang perjalanan pendekmu ini ..."

Ibu mencium semahu-mahunya. Namun wajah itu hanya kaku, dingin sekali.

Jenazahnya kemudian diuruskan sehingga selesai sempurna. Malam itu apabila lampu tidur dimatikan dan kawasan kejiranan sunyi, ibu keluar ke kawasan tong sampah di hadapan rumah. Dia menyelongkar sampah semalam mencari koyakan kertas anaknya. Malam itu di ruang tamu rumahnya penuh koyakan kertas yang ditaburkan.

Dengan nada lemah sekali bersama lelehan air mata hangat ibu berkata, "Alangkah indah andainya ini yang ibu lihat pada setiap hari di sepanjang hidup ini."

"Ibu rindu kepadamu ... Ibu rindu kepada nakalmu ... Ibu rindu pada koyakan kertas ini, tetapi kenapa ibu buta tentangnya selama ini?"

Tangisan hanya saksi bisu dengan irama tersendiri, namun hakikat yang terpaksa direngguk ialah semua itu tidak boleh diulang lagi. Anak comel itu tidak akan pulang lagi ke rumah sampai bila-bila.


**********

Benar, sesetengah nikmat itu hanya datang sekali, kerana itu nikmati dan syukurilah, bersyukurlah sentiasa.

Amat malang kerana kita selalu sedar dan menghargai sesuatu, hanya selepas nikmat itu terlerai daripada genggaman.

***************************************************************************

Sob,sob~true...i dont wanna end up like that...

P/s: what happened to the dad eh?papa asked me the same question..why is the dad not mentioned in the story...hmmm??

Our 2nd Anniversaries

Kucupan pertama setelah sah menjadi suami isteri



Muka kontrol ayu...kene pakse senyum bukan sengih

I married to this guy named Mahathir 2 years ago. We've were in love for 3 years before he proposed to marry me. I remembered clearly, our wedding was not even close to extravaganza nevertheless we had a great wedding ceremony to be remembered. It was prepared within our budget and i accepted it very well. I was smiling ear to ear...showing my not so perfect set of teeth. We were nervous but we did it our way... we talked to each other while bersanding and laughed at each other's joke...until warning signs were given by my siblings...hehe~dorg ni tak rawk laa...

Acara post-bersanding, bergambar atas katil..hehe~tak menarik langsung!

That was then.. 2 years back..

Now, even with faris around we enjoyed each other's company. We laughed at each other's joke and we love to make fun of each others. Like any normal couple, we do argue, yes we do..but we have a time limit to settle everything within 1 hour. It feels bad to argue and not talking to each other for one whole day...i can't live with that. I am fortunate to have him as he is very patient and considerate most of the times.

He is not a romantic guy who will shower me with gifts and flowers. He won't. He's a practical person who is very considerate to others. I saw good qualities in him never to be found in me and deep down inside of me i knew he is the one meant for me...to complement me, to guide me and to protect me from harm. I am blessed to have him as my husband.

2 years still we had a long way to go... no marriage is perfect, masih byk yang kami perlu belajar..nevertheless kami bersyukur atas nikmat dan rezeki yang dilimpahkan Allah sepanjang perkahwinan kami...Alhamdulillah~

Doakan perkahwinan kami kekal bahagia sehingga ke akhir hayat..


P/s: gamba kawen aku tak byk yg best sbb photographer cam hampeh..tah hape gamba yang ditangkapnye aku pon tatau...huhuhu~tapi nak kate ape...dah kawen sudaa...settle.

Bola itu yang dipanggil BAA~

Last night while papa was busy playing ps2 i was browsing the web beside the sleeping faris.

All of the sudden faris woke up..rubbing his eyes and sat down properly. Then with his eyes wide open he pointed out his finger at the pillow and he shouted...BAA!!(means ball)

I was like so puzzled..where got ball on the bed?Mamat ni nak main bola ke hape tgh malam ni??

Puzzled still, but the next thing i know is he went back to sleep..ceh~

Itulaa dia org kalau dah kemaruk bola. Tak cukup seharian main bola time tido pon bole teringat bola lagi..hehe!

He looks very cute though...aww~i should've recorded that adengan mengigau..hehe!

Anyway, faris seems to ignore other toys that i bought for him and only focus in playing the ball. Huaa~sedey tau...beli mahal2 anak tak main. Akhirnya bola seploh ringgit jugak yang dikendong ke sana sini.

Baa~itulaa yang ditendang, dibaling, ditanduk..yee, cita2 faris sangat besar. Apa shj yg org besar buat depan dia, pasti dia nak ikut. Sangat bersungguh2. Dalam byk2 cucu mak aku...faris sorang je yang gilakan bola...drp bgn tido sampai nak tido..hanya baa dalam ingatan..kaki bola sejati ni.

Badan faris pon dah semakin susut. Tido waktu siang pon setakat sejam lebih je. Waktu lain banyak dihabiskan berlari sana sini. Hmm~tak bola nak buat apa dah...budak lelaki..dah sampai masa dia lasak camni.

Dulu saya tak lasak..saya tau baring je..masa tu baa pon saya tak tau menatang hape..hehe~

Lalalala~mari kita kerja!

Kusut, pening kepala...rasa nak muntah.

Itulah perasaan yang sama aku alami setiap kali datang keje. Nak kata volume keje banyak, dulu lagi mmg macam ni...jadi aku sangat tak paham kenapa agaknya lately aku macam ni.


Mengandung?Ohh, tidakk~


BP naik? Tensen pon iye..tp mintak dijauhkan..


Mata problem? Kemungkinan besar sebab long hours tgk komputer..sigh~


Tapi itu semua fenomena hari kerja sahaja. Hari minggu mende ni semua tak terjadi…especially kalau pegi sale…tgk tag harga yang ade mcm2 warna pon aku tak pening. Isetan sale, Sogo sale, Jusco sale… blablabla…itu semua keindahan, elok utk mata aku…hehe~


Oleh kerana hari ni dah kembali bekerja...kepalaku kusut seperti biasa...ohh, cepatla hari sabtu~

Purpose

What is the purpose of having a blog?

My purpose of having this blog is nothing more than to update my frens and those who care to read about my life. If you ask me whether i've been actively viewing others' blog and care to drop a comment, the answer is no. However, it does not mean that i don't give a damn about my frens. I treasure friendship in a real life rather than virtually..traditional i am.

As a blog writer, my thought would not be the same with the rest. Same goes to the contents of my writing. There is no hard and fast rule. I'm free to write anything i like but i wont condemn/review about others blog in my writing. For me it's a never ending stories. I'm far from perfect and i tend to make mistake too.

Life is too short. Let's cherish every moment of our life!

Family activities

Ever since we got to know each other, we shared so many activities together.Papa is such an active person, he used to be an active bowling player, he's a good sports player, he loves to challenge himself with new things, a very fun person indeed. I learnt so much from him. I used to restrict myself to so many things..negative i used to be...but he changed me..

After we got married, with faris around ,we dont limit ourselves just by staying home. Sometimes we went out with his friends, karaoke, went to play bowling with my families...sometimes we choose not to bring faris because of the inconvenience or because it's his bed time. We do bring him with us under special circumstances....especially when our maid is not around.

Saya carik mama saya...tapi di mana yee dia?



Faris at ampang bowl..trying so hard to accept the fact that he cannot play with the bowling ball, he thought it's the BAA! (ball) he used to play at home..hehe!

Faris is not a fussy boy. He learn to adapt with the surroundings very quickly. The other day i just want to try out to see whether he can cope staying in the karaoke room..failing which i would take him out somewhere else. But he's being so cool..clapping his hand and it really looks like he's having fun. Btw, we went to karaoke in the afternoon for err,3 hours...ohh, i seriously worried about him. Nevertheless, im happy that he's ok...but this is not an encouragement for me to bring him to the karaoke session again...noo~wont do it again.

Faris @ Redbox. Clapping his hands while listening to the songs..excited gamaknye!

I admit that it's easier to move around now that he can walk except when we're at a very crowded places...i just let him stay in the stroller. Btw, faris old stroller is very bulky so we decided to buy a new one...i regret buying the old stroller..it consumed space, even a 7 seater car looks like 5 seater with the stroller around. We bought Graco Mojo Buggy...easier to move around with this, the bad side is only the price...way expensive. We're really gonna use this stroller for a very looong time! Trust me.

Inilaa perompak yang merompak kami (stroller, bukan faris)...jika terjumpa sila report pak polisi yea~

Anyway..i mentioned that i received a gift for our wedding anniversaries from papa. I said that i like it eventhough my heart says no..such a drama queen kan?Huhuu...after consulting with my frens i finally made up my mind that the gift is not really that bad. I never requested for such an expensive item from papa...so i feel really bad when he bought me E75. In fact, i really feel down that i dont think so anybody would understand how i felt. I confronted papa and we sat together and talk heart to heart. I told him i dont need any expensive item from him...in fact i want him to know that i dont want to burden him..i am different from any woman out there. He comforted me saying that he bought that only for my convenience and because he hate giving a handbag as wedding anniversaries gift...lerr~tu je reason die?at least handbag is more cheaper,k!

We are ok now..i learn to accept the gift...without further complaint. We haven't thought about going anywhere for the anniversaries..we'll see how..actually tak pegi pon takpe kan??Hmmmm~